it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
