1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
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As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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