Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
