He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
