U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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