Where is the hickey?
you didnt know i had herpes?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize