He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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