so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
