In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
