I didn't shave. On purpose
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
