Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
