I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
