I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
