thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
