bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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