Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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