her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
