He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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