Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
