would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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