Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
