All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
