I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
