He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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