Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
