my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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