he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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