they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
