if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
