Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
