i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I bet he comes in French.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
