I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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