:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
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The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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