You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
