she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize