New invention idea: vibrating tampons
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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