We're like a lot better than the average bears
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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