He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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