I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
