I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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