You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
