we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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