You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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