You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sext me about skeletons
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize