can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
