i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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