Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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