ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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