I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
