Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
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