Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize