the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
