It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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