How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
