We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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