Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
