Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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